I wish that I could take it all back.
But I’m glad I can’t.
Without it; you wouldn’t know me.
I wish that I could take it all back.
But I’m glad I can’t.
Without it; you wouldn’t know me.
I wish that I could take away the hurt.
But I’m glad I can’t.
Without it; I wouldn’t know you.
I wish I didn’t have this job to do.
But I’m glad I have it.
Without it; I couldn’t get back to you.
I wish.
To begin again.
To start from here.
To create
Something new.
Together.
I am here.
Just
for
YOU.
Good morning. 🙂
Have an extraordinarily Blessed Day!
I sense that you are not feeling good and may need some Wishing Words.
So here is my list of wishes, just for you.
In hopes that dreams, really can come true.
I wish:
for you be happy here – in this small town next to the Big Town.
to be your best friend and partner & build the lives that we’ve been dreaming of.
to sit in the second chair.
That’s where I feel most at home.
for others to know – just how much your love means to me.
For your Joy and Happiness
Even if that means public humiliation and becoming a Troll.
for easy days and no options.
For a field of wishes waiting and a gentle breeze to set them free and carry them away
to the Powers that Be.
For long hot showers to wash the Day away.
Long Hot baths with Sandlewood and Jasmine
followed by long deep massages to ease the stress of the day away.
I wish for playing in the Ocean and sun tanned feet.
Laughter and Harmony
as you walk a creek.
I wish you Peace and a warm Spring Day
as you find the time to sing, and Play.
I would follow you anywhere. You know its true.
I know that you feel Me, as I feel You.
May this beautiful Spring Time Day grant these wishes
in all that you do and say.
I Love YOU!
Back in the day when I was a younger girl – there was a nursery rhyme that we used to say that was intended to help us deal with people who were hurting our feelings. That nursery rhyme is:
Sticks and s tones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.
I’ve been working with one of my very best cousins – and very dear friend – and tracing some synaptic firings trying to root out some distress that I have been enduring. I realized this morning that I would rather take that beating (and have on many occasions) than have someone sling hurtful words at me. Words can CRUSH a soul. It has been my experience that words, or even the lack of them, can heal or kill.
Words or the lack of them, are the sharpest edge and cut the deepest. Leaving lasting wounds, or healing the deepest of wounds.
In the days when my children were very young, I did not need to spank them – my words or a look could halt whatever it was that they were doing that wasn’t appropriate. I always responded with love and understanding that they were learning. It was my job to teach them what they needed to know to live in the world.
I always laughed and joked with friends and colleagues about my viper tongue.
Vipers are accurate. They will leave you alone unless they feel very threatened. My eldest used to chase them, and it always scared me when he did. I inherited a very strong fear of snakes. Fortunately, for my eldest and me both, he had a wonderful teacher when he was in high school that taught him the various different kinds of snakes. Which ones were venomous, and which ones were harmless and good to have around and which ones would run from him. My eldest shared that knowledge and education with me. My fear of snakes grew less and less as the years have passed.
His favorite to try and catch when we lived in the country was a Coach Whip. Quick, large snakes that didn’t like to be around people too much and will get out of Dodge with a quickness. He would try locate one and chase it to try and catch it. it always proved elusive. He has always been incredibly accurate in his identification of each snake. I am so very grateful he has never been harmed by one. Just never could catch that Coach Whip.
Back to my Viper tongue.
I made it a policy when my children were young that information was power. It was my goal to give them as much information as I could and allow them to make decisions on their own and allow them to fail while they were young, and to provide guidance for correction. That way, when they grew into the wonderful adults I knew they would eventually become, they would be able to make informed decisions. To reap the benefits of those decisions, or to suffer the consequences of those decisions.
It was and continues to be my primary goal to teach them HOW TO THINK, not what to think. There are times when I have done my Job maybe a little too well, and they have out thought me. Which, was the ultimate goal anyway.
I would have to say that I am a fairly liberal parent. I do, however, have very firm boundaries that are no secret to anyone who knows me well. When those boundaries are crossed, my Viper tongue coils up and gives plenty of warning that it’s about to strike. My Rattle begins going off like nuts prior to the strike in self-defense and for self-preservation.
As an animal of lower intelligence, a viper does not feel angst or remorse when it strikes. It strikes, injects its venom and then simply gets the hell out of Dodge.
As a human of higher intelligence and Mother, remorse, angst and regret often follow a self-preservation act of the Viper tongue. As the higher intelligence and more evolved being, I believe it’s my Job to evaluate that act of self-preservation and determine if it was a justified act for the evolution and growth of my children, or if it was in fact, a strike of fear.
As an educated Mother and introvert, I go silent after a Viper Strike. Dealing with my own issues of the encounter, sifting through the events. Sorting through each detail. Identifying any old injuries or traumas from the past and breaking any synaptic firings to replace with fresh, caring and understanding new data. So that those areas of danger can be avoided in the future.
When I have completed that analysis and can look at the data in front of me. I own my part, and have a conversation. The reason that I do it this way is because I want my words to be heard, and incorporated into my children’s psyche’s to carry forward into the future so that there is additional information for them to make Powerful decisions in their lives, and to not make the same mistakes in the future. It is my dominant intention to learn from my mistakes, the first time, and to teach them from that lesson by providing insight into my own psychology, and have them learn from them. As I have.
The apologies for my house have ALWAYS BEEN.
The only apology acceptable – is a change in behavior. Verbalizing the apology and clearly and plainly stating what the apology is for, and then solutions to ensure that the behavior is not repeated. As their Mom, it’s my job to have solutions already worked out in case once is not enough and the lesson needs repeating. Generally speaking, once is usually enough.
Sometimes, as parents, we think we know everything. The trouble with that mindset is – we are still learning ourselves. I’ve never been this age before. I’ve never been this old and young at the same time before. It’s a new adventure in – holy crap – what NOW?
I have very often said to my eldest –
My Greatest Strength is that I know I don’t know everything.
My Greatest Weakness is that I know I don’t know everything.
Being a Super Hero is great. Until it’s not.
Because even Superman has Kryptonite.
So very much LOVE.
Have a very BLESSED Sunday.
“What do you want from me?”
In a menopausal spin off – my knee jerk reaction was “Not a God Damned Thing”. I didn’t say it though.
What I said was, Everything.
Now that my Old Lady meds have kicked in and I am more MySelf. I realized the question was to something I have said many times in a previous life.
My answer is:
What I had before, or better.
I’m still here.
Waiting.
I hope to see you soon.
As an example of this idea. I had to go through numerous iterations of the Meme above before being satisfied that it related the information that I wanted it to relay. Some things just take extra effort to get it just the way we desire it to be.
It’s Thursday and it’s been a week has’t it? So glad Friday is a few hours away and we can relax doing the things that we love. Me personally, am headed to the Dojo on Saturday to watch a bunch of fantastic kids show off how much they have learned from the awesome Sensei’s at Cooperative Spirit Martial Arts in Orlando, Florida. I heard it’s going to be a really good time 🙂
Much love for a fantastic day!
Don’t forget to tie your shoes. We don’t want any accidents on the way out the door this morning!
A Dragon's Peace 